Grief

Many can experience grief in menopause. 

It’s a change we usually do not want. 

Grief expert David Kessler states that “Grief is the recognition of that change, but it’s also the loss of a connection. And at its heart, grief is love; it’s love for whatever we had that is now gone. ”

It can be love for the youth that has gone, of our reproductive years that has passed, our body that has changed. 

We may want to just get on with it, or seen how our mothers just got on with it, but it is important to acknowledge this grief. 

I certainly felt that grief at the beginning of perimenopause. I didn’t realise it could have been perimenopause, I hadn’t even heard of the word, but I remember  precisely the moment I felt that grief that my children were growing up, no longer needed me in the same capacity as what I wanted to hold on to, and I knew that I wouldn’t have any more children. 

And it’s ok to be sad about this. 

Even though we may feel it’s too late for some things, it’s not too late for many things. 

It’s only working through these emotions, coming to terms with them that has helped me be comfortable with who I am today. 

Have you felt this grief?

How did you cope with it?

If you are going through this now please seek out to me or someone else so that you don’t continue to struggle. 

It’s ok to get help. I did. 

The menopause is a natural process, even though it doesn’t feel like it. 

We have to allow the passages of time to allow the younger generations to have their time. 

And so we either hit the menopause gradually or sometimes suddenly and we mourn for everything that was, as we try to come to terms with Mother Nature’s cycle.

Menopause is like the beginning of autumn, like the next part of our life. We know that this life is not forever.

The changes of menopause can also affect our relationships. 

Let’s try to be open with our feelings and share our struggles with our partners or people that are close to us. Reach for support and don’t be shy of accepting it or asking for it.  

Communication can create great bridges between us and transform our relationships in this part of our lives, It’s never too late. 

According to Kessler, the way through this grief is to find meaning. 

Some women use this to time make life changes.

Have the courage to change what needs to be changed. 

Did you feel this grief when you went through menopause? Or if you are going through it now?

Or do you recognise this in someone close?